Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-settings.php on line 468

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Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-settings.php on line 526

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Page::start_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::start_lvl(&$output) in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/classes.php on line 594

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Page::end_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::end_lvl(&$output) in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/classes.php on line 594

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Page::start_el() should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output) in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/classes.php on line 594

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Page::end_el() should be compatible with Walker::end_el(&$output) in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/classes.php on line 594

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_PageDropdown::start_el() should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output) in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/classes.php on line 611

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Category::start_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::start_lvl(&$output) in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/classes.php on line 705

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Category::end_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::end_lvl(&$output) in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/classes.php on line 705

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Category::start_el() should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output) in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/classes.php on line 705

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Category::end_el() should be compatible with Walker::end_el(&$output) in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/classes.php on line 705

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_CategoryDropdown::start_el() should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output) in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/classes.php on line 728

Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class wpdb in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 306

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/cache.php on line 103

Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class WP_Object_Cache in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/cache.php on line 425

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/query.php on line 21

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/theme.php on line 618

Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class WP_Dependencies in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/class.wp-dependencies.php on line 15
 Mikrowelle » Ich bin NICHT DICK!!!
Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

    Programmwahl

    Aufgewärmt


      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • February 2013

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • May 2011

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • March 2011

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • February 2011

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • October 2010

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • September 2010

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • November 2009

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • July 2009

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • June 2009

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • May 2009

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • April 2009

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • March 2009

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • February 2009

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • January 2009

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • December 2008

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • November 2008

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • September 2008

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • August 2008

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • July 2008

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • June 2008

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • May 2008

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • April 2008

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • March 2008

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • February 2008

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • January 2008

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • December 2007

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • November 2007

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • October 2007

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • September 2007

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • August 2007

Ich bin NICHT DICK!!!

Tach, ihr Außenseiter!

Heute hab ich meine Vermieterin mal wieder zu ihrer Ärztin geschleift (insgeheim hat sie sich ja schon seit Wochen auf die heutige Untersuchung gefreut), damit die mal guckt, wie es mir so geht. Was für eine Ironie, als ob ich das nicht selbst wüsste… Mir gehts natürlich gut, um nicht zu sagen: hervorragend! Der Vermieterin geht’s auch prima: Sie hat zwar wieder mal 2 kg in 4 Wochen zugenommen (was angeblich normal sein soll, aber das könnt ihr mir doch nicht erzählen!), aber der Blutdruck ist - trotz ihrer enormen Körperfülle - wie immer absolut tippi-toppi. Man sollte es kaum glauben, ist aber so. Auch beim CTG war alles super, mein Herz hat gewummst wie ne Bassrolle. Umpfdaumpfdaumpfda! Und geweht hat da nix, sagen sie (wie auch, das Fenster und die Tür des Raumes, in dem das CTG gemacht wurde, waren ja zu…).

Natürlich musste ich armer Kerl auch wieder vor die Kamara (”Hallooooo Nupsiiii, wink doch mal!!!”), um für die Mädels (und den Bombenleger) zu posen. Inzwischen bin ich das ja schon gewöhnt, also hab ich so getan, als ob ich schlafen würde, hihihi. Als ob ich für die da den Tanzaffen mimen würde. Nich mit Nupsi, hab ich mir gedacht. Reicht ja wohl schon, wenn sie mich von oben bis unten und von vorn bis hinten begutachten, wie Schweinebraten im Metzgertresen. Widerlich, diese Fleischbeschau - aber ich gönns den Weibern ja, die haben ja sonst eh so wenig Spaß im Leben. Apropos Spaß: So langsam finde ich meine Wohnung echt ein bischen zu klein. Ja, klar, der Pool ist toll, aber irgendwie reicht mir das nicht mehr. Ich hätte es gern ein bisschen üppiger, und außerdem brauch ich auch ne Garage, für meinen geilen Schlitten. Ich kann den ja schließlich nicht am Straßenrand parken, sonst kommt noch irgend so ein Spinner daher, und zieht mir mit seinem Schlüssel Schrammen in den Lack. Neee, das geht ja gar nicht! Aber zurück zur Fleischbeschau! Damit ihr mal wisst (vor allem die Mädels unter euch), was für ein leckeres Appetithäppchen ich bin, hier mal meine aktuellen Daten:

Größe: ca. 42 cm
Brustkorb-Querdurchmesser: 86,2 mm
Umfang des Brustkorbs: 288 mm
Scheiteldurchmesser: 82,5 mm
Durchmesser des Kopfes von vorn nach hinten: 109 mm
Kopfumfang: 32,6 cm
Länge des Oberschenkelknochens: 59,6 mm
Schuhgröße: weiß ich grad nicht genau, groß auf jeden Fall

Aber nun kommt der Hammer: Die blöde Ärztin, die mich ja so furchtbar süüüüß findet, hat doch tatsächlich gesagt, dass ich ein “dicker Brummer” wäre. Bitte was, ich hör wohl nicht richtig? Ich bin NICHT DICK - ich bin STARK. Aber sie hat kackfrech in den Mutterpass geschrieben, ich würde (man achte drauf!) ca. 2500 g wiegen. Halloooo? Ich glaub, es hackt! Seh ich aus wie ein Fettkloß? Können Schwabbelbacken sich mit dem Fuß gegen den Kopf treten? Ich glaube nicht, Tim! Die Vermieterin hat das auch nicht so ganz glauben wollen…allerdings, so meinte sie später zu mir, würde das die Risse in der Außenwand erklären, die ich da angeblich reingetreten haben soll. Sagemal, wo kommen wir denn da hin? Jetzt soll ich wohl auch noch für Sanierungskosten aufkommen? Träum weiter, Muddi. Ich bin schließlich nicht dazu da, um Deine Bude gesund zu sanieren. Also ist es beschlossene Sache, dass ich vermutlich Ende Juni ausziehen werde, bevor hier noch mehr kaputtgeht, und mir das dann zulasten gelegt wird. Vorausgesetzt, ich habe bis dahin eine adäquate Bleibe gefunden…

Fotos von mir gibts heute übrigens keine, die reiche ich dann nächste Woche nach! Also habt Geduld bis dahin und macht euch ein gemütliches Wochenende!
Nuppel on! Euer Nupsi

P. S.: Ich hätte ja nie gedacht, dass ich das mal sagen werde, aber inzwischen vermisse ich den Bombenleger doch irgendwie ganz schön. Mit wem soll ich sonst über Autos fachsimpeln und andere Männersachen besprechen? Außerdem ist die Vermieterin schon seit Tagen völlig hibbelig, ich glaub, die vermisst den auch…

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    Heissgemacht


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