Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-settings.php on line 468

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-settings.php on line 483

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-settings.php on line 490

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-settings.php on line 526

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Page::start_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::start_lvl(&$output) in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/classes.php on line 594

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Page::end_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::end_lvl(&$output) in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/classes.php on line 594

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Page::start_el() should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output) in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/classes.php on line 594

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Page::end_el() should be compatible with Walker::end_el(&$output) in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/classes.php on line 594

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_PageDropdown::start_el() should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output) in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/classes.php on line 611

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Category::start_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::start_lvl(&$output) in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/classes.php on line 705

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Category::end_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::end_lvl(&$output) in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/classes.php on line 705

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Category::start_el() should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output) in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/classes.php on line 705

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Category::end_el() should be compatible with Walker::end_el(&$output) in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/classes.php on line 705

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_CategoryDropdown::start_el() should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output) in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/classes.php on line 728

Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class wpdb in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 306

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/cache.php on line 103

Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class WP_Object_Cache in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/cache.php on line 425

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/query.php on line 21

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/theme.php on line 618

Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class WP_Dependencies in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/class.wp-dependencies.php on line 15
 Mikrowelle » Club der Nichtblinker-Vollbremser-Hasser
Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935

    Programmwahl

    Aufgewärmt


      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • February 2013

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • May 2011

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • March 2011

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • February 2011

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • October 2010

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • September 2010

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • November 2009

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • July 2009

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • June 2009

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • May 2009

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • April 2009

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • March 2009

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • February 2009

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • January 2009

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • December 2008

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • November 2008

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • September 2008

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • August 2008

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • July 2008

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • June 2008

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • May 2008

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • April 2008

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • March 2008

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • February 2008

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • January 2008

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • December 2007

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • November 2007

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • October 2007

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • September 2007

    • Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 934

      Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00c06c7/wordpress/wp-includes/kses.php on line 935
    • August 2007

Club der Nichtblinker-Vollbremser-Hasser

Meinen Führerschein machte ich anno 1991 (im November hatte ich den Lappen in der Hand), und fahre seit diesem Zeitpunkt unfallfrei. Okay, ein “Unfall” war dabei, dem ich aber den Unfallstatus aberkenne, weil ich beim Ausparken eine Stoßstange eines plötzlich vorbeifahrenden Wagens touchierte, bei dem ein etwa zehennagelgroßer (kleiner Zeh!) Abriebstelle am Gummiüberzug der Stoßstange des betroffenen Wagens entstand. Die Dame, die das Fahrzeug fuhr, musste mit überhöhter Geschwindigkeit um die Straßenecke hinter mir gekommen sein (wir reden hier von einer 30-Zone-Gegend), denn beim Schulterblick etwa 1,5 Sekunden vorher war besagtes Fahrzeug nicht zu sehen, und ich konnte die schnurgrade Straße hinter mir mehr als nur gut einsehen. Ich muss sicherlich nicht erwähnen, dass sich dieses dreiste Frauenzimmer ne neue Stoßstange besorgte, wofür ich sie heute noch verfluche! Egal, ansonsten bin ich also die letzten 16 Jahre unfallfrei durch Stadt und Land gekurvt, wobei ich auch etwa ein Jahr lang mit einem Lkw (7,5 t) Langstrecke gefahren bin. Hier in meiner Stadt bekam ich in etwa viermal ein Ticket wegen Falschparkens (bzw. abgelaufenem Parkticket) und wurde einmal in einer 30-Zone geblitzt, was mich 10,- DM kostete. Fahren kann ich also offenbar - was nicht zuletzt daran liegt, dass ich einen ganz tollen Fahrlehrer hatte, der mich schon in der ersten Fahrstunde etlichen Herausforderungen entgegenfahren ließ. Hier also einen Gruß und Danke an Peter, der wirklich ganze Arbeit geleistet hat.

Was Peter mir schon lange vor der ersten Fahrstunde eintrichterte war: “Fahre immer umsichtig, denn Deine Mitmenschen können nicht hellsehen, und wissen deshalb auch nicht, was Du auf der Straße vorhast!”. Ein Satz, der mir im Umkehrschluss schon zigmal das Leben gerettet hat, denn auch ICH kann nicht hellsehen, was die Vollidioten auf der Straße gerade vorhaben. In den vergangenen Jahren entwickelte ich deshalb Reflexe und Krisen-Reaktions-Pläne, von denen ich nicht wusste, dass ich dazu in der Lage gewesen wäre. Leider scheint es so, dass inzwischen wirklich jeder noch so saudämliche Penner nen Führerschein bekommen kann, wenn er es nur oft genug versucht. Ich erinnere mich noch, als ob es gestern wäre, wie in meinem Fahrschul-Kurs Leute teilnahmen, die schon 5 Mal (in Worten: fünf) durch die theoretische Prüfung gerasselt waren. Klar, einmal kann passieren, zweimal vielleicht auch. Mich hat der Energiesparbogen (gibts den heute überhaupt noch?) damals auch fast zu Fall gebracht, aber dennoch bin ich bereits im ersten Anlauf durchgekommen. Die praktische war dagegen ein Kinderspiel: Während Peter und der Prüfer neben gelegentlichen Fahranweisungen ausgiebig darüber diskutierten, ob sie nach meiner Prüfung nicht mal frühstücken gehen sollten, kurvte ich lässig durch die Stadt, umschiffte total cool die beliebte Einbahnstraßenfalle (”Bei der nächstmöglichen Gelegenheit bitte rechts abbiegen”), düste über die Autobahn und parkte in Rekordzeit perfekt rückwärts ein. Nach ca. 25 Minuten war der Prüfer zufrieden und ein paar Minuten später hatte ich meinen (damals noch) rosa Lappen in der Hand. Gratuliere, Prüfung bestanden, Sie dürfen jetzt einen Pkw führen! Dass ich das ganze sogar noch mit verstauchter rechter Hand schaffte, machte mich besonders stolz, aber das nur am Rande…

Wenn ich jedoch jetzt in der Stadt unterwegs bin, bekomme ich regelmäßig Brechreiz, Schweißausbrüche und Fluch-Anfälle gleichzeitig. Blinken ist ja total out, unkontrolliertes Vollbremsen dafür total in. Ja, ich weiß, ich hab mich noch nie wirklich für die INs und OUTs dieser Welt interessiert - und die Trendsetter zeigen mir diesbezüglich fast täglich aufs Neue, wie dermaßen über-out ich bin. Blinken, ja, das ist was für Waschlappen. Der echte Kerl (oder Ische) von Welt findet Blinken nämlich total überflüssig, weil der Fahrer dahinter ja sieht, wohin diese weltmännischen Flachpfeifen abbiegen. Sicherlich bekommt die Autoindustrie tagtäglich Millionen von Anfragen, wozu dieser ominöse Hebel ins Auto der Wahl verbaut sein muss. Die Anfragenden schlagen alternative Nutzungsmöglichkeiten vor: Zum Beispiel optionale Bassverstärkung, wechselnde Farbe der Bremsbeleuchtung (cool bei Vollbremsung!) oder Jamba-Download-Schalter. Ich allerdings hätte da etwas andere Ideen: Schlagmechanismus für Auf-den-Hinterkopf-Schläge, Eierquetsche oder Frequenztest des viel zu laut aufgedrehten Radios. Liebe Autoindustrie, denkt bitte mal über meine Vorschläge nach, dann würde ich optional auch auf nen Blinker verzichten.

Viel besser aber noch, als die Nicht-Blinker sind die Nicht-Blinker in Verbindung mit den Vollbremsung-machen-weil-da-ne-Parklücke-ist-Tätern. Klar, ne Parklücke sieht man grad in der Innenstadt nicht immer sofort, und ja, Parkplätze sind in der Innenstadt, immer rar. Ich hab ja sogar ein bischen Verständnis dafür. Aber wenn diese G. W. Bush’es unter den Autofahrern mal ein paar Meter in die Zukunft nach vorne gucken würden, anstatt versuchen sich zu erinnern, ob sie ihr Gehirn im Kofferraum oder in der Pfandleihe abgelegt haben, dann könnte ich die Reifen des elterlichen Ford KA ganz ungemein schonen und hätte mir unzählige Beinahe-Herzinfarkte erspart. Stattdessen setzt alles auf die offenbar inzwischen serienmäßig verbaute Kristallkugel und erwartet, dass diese Sonderaustattung auch bei anderen Verkehrsidiotenteilnehmern funktioniert. Im Ernst Leute, falsch geglaubt. Ehrlich gesagt kann ich solchen Vollspasten nur wünschen, dass sich bei denen bei 180 auf der Autobahn mal spontan der Frontairbag auslöst. Das wäre übrigens mein Alternativ-Vorschlag, wie man den Blinker-Hebel auch noch nutzen könnte. Hier vermute ich allerdings, dass die Autobauer nicht drauf eingehen werden. Schade eigentlich!

Interessantes und Unterhaltsames zum Thema gibts auch im Taxiblog. Mein Mitleid Frank, ich fühle mit Dir. Zum Glück muss ich mit soner Scheiße (nicht mehr) mein Geld verdienen. Halt die Ohren steif und fahr weiterhin vorsichtig!

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